I’m So Alone After Having a Child

I hear this from so many mothers, and I experienced it myself as a new mom. Motherhood in our society can be a very isolating experience.

Mothers are expected to do the majority of the caregiving for baby, and our society in general values the individual over the community. We live away from our extended family, often in dwellings with just one or two other people. Babies and young children may function best in their own space, especially in the winter when the weather is more challenging.

All of these factors combine to create an isolating experience for moms. So what can you do?

Look for your tribe. Your people. Where do they hang out? Coffee shops, hiking clubs, outdoor music festivals? Start asking around, some of them, somewhere have children! Your local library or community organization can be a great place to find out what story times, mommy and me yoga or other child friendly programs are running in your area.

Asheville has “Asheville Area Moms” Group on Facebook, as well as Baby wearing clubs and hiking groups.

If you live very remotely, consider calling friends on Skype or over the phone. Get online, get outside, get — connected. Don’t expect to be socializing multiple times per day, every day. (Unless that works well for you) But try to be willing to be inconvenienced a few times a week.

I’m not saying it’s not going to be awkward, messy or even uncomfortable at times. But it’s worth it. You NEED people during this time in your life. You do.

-Jenny Schermerhorn, Licensed Mental Health Therapist. Specializing in the Journey and Transition To Motherhood.

This article is not meant to take the place of a relationship with a trained mental health therapist, or a medical professional. It is not meant to provide diagnosis of a mental health disorder. If you are experiencing a physical or mental health emergency, please dial 9-1-1

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